What's in The Mother's mailbag - 2010
Mailbag from issue 41 - July/Aug 2010
Dear Veronika, Paul, Bethany and Eliza,
Congratulations on the birth of your newest babe ~ Life Without School. We don't
underestimate the sacrifices you've made as individuals and as a family in order
to inspire and educate others. Your hard work, honesty, determination and
kindness are appreciated by our family more than you can know. To have joined
you in any part of your journey has been an honour and a joy. To count you not
only as friends, but as 'true' friends; friends who speak up when everyone else
seems to have lost their voice, friends who shine a light when everyone else
seems to have lost their way, but especially as friends who encourage us to
grow, by challenging that which otherwise might have gone unchallenged, is a
blessing to us. Much love and gratitude to you for all you have gifted to
families who know there is another way, but aren't always sure how to follow
it.
Amelia Loulli, and family.
Dear Veronika, Paul, Eliza and Bethany,
Thanks so much for all your hard work, dedication and love in setting up this
wonderful camp. Our family have had such a beautiful time and learned so much,
especially as parents and partners, from yourselves and all the other beautiful
role models that abound here. My hubbie was definitely an uncertain participant
in the lead up to camp, but as it comes to a close he's proud to declare how
much he has enjoyed the camp and grown as a father and husband. He has
thoroughly enjoyed the male camaraderie and bonding, and for a few days has
experienced 'belonging' to a tribe. As a family we send you so much love and
gratitude for enabling such a beautiful, magical experience incomparably better
than any expensive holiday abroad.
All our love, Francesca, Steven, Molly, Jennifer and Lily
I had to write to express my deep gratitude for the magical 5 days that was TM
Camp 2010. I pray it isn't the last. That week opened up my heart more than I
thought possible, and stripped away the last of my reservations and fears about
how I'm raising Rowan. To be in a community of friends, to have that space held
and to feel the vibrations and love from everyone around, set my soul on fire.
So it's time to do something about the fact I feel like my spirit is dying with
every day I live in a conventional house with meat-eaters, in a society which is
generally disrespectful towards children and mothers ~ I'm exploring options for
vegan community living, and already have some visiting days arranged. This is no
longer just a want, a wistful dream, but a deep, deep need within me to be with
my own kind. Veronika's sharing of the ugly duckling story in the Wild Women
circle really spoke to me: my family are lovely, and adore me and my son, and
they have tried to be supportive in the ways they think will help (offering to
babysit...) The fact remains that I am very different in my approach to
parenting and I must seek out people with whom I can live in harmony, living a
more natural, tribal life, and contributing to real social change, rather than
adding to the problems in current society. Thank you with all my heart for
being my springboard, my courage, my Mother.
Bright blessings, Charlie and Rowan (4 months) xx
I just received the most recent edition of The Mother; so rich, beautiful,
calming and soulful as always. Thank you so much for everything you do, have
created and stand for.
Jessica, USA
Thanks for a great year, I will indeed be renewing my subscription. Your
magazine is so inspirational. In the last year I have had my third water birth
(the other two were eight and six years ago); I have breastfed them all and
continue with my little daughter who is seven months, and all three kids are
healthy and unvaccinated.
All the best, Sarah Connell, Newbury, Berkshire
Thank you ever so much for all your hard work! I've received my mag this week
and haven't put it down! I've also been reading your book Life Without School
(got it through Amazon, sorry) and wanted to thank you for putting so much of
your life to be shared by people out there, like myself, who are looking
constantly into other ways of living. Thank you! My son has just turned two
years of age, and we're already talking about schools at home. I wish we didn't
have to, but on the other hand it gives us some time to research as much as we
can with regards school. I'm currently looking into homeschooling, and also
Bloo school in Surrey as we live in Surrey, and it's the closest alternative
Steiner/ Montessori school here to us. I wonder whether anyone out there has
got any personal experiences of sending their kids to Bloo school? I'm just a
bit at a loss with schools here and not confident enough to home educate as
English is my second language, plus my memory is very poor since giving birth.
I'd appreciate any of your thoughts on that; any suggestions.
Thank you very
much! Lots of love, Sabina
THANK YOU for camp...we had the most wonderful time. Thank you for making
Ethan's birthday special. Thank you for The Mother. I've returned home feeling
so refreshed and full of energy for mothering! Love you all lots and lots. Have
sent you some pics from camp including a lovely one of the girls. See you next
year!?
Blessings, Emma xxxx
Dear Veronika, Paul, Bethany and Eliza,
Thank you so much for such an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, NOURISHING, UPLIFTING AND
RELAXING camp! We had such a wonderful time and were so sad to leave on the
last day. I felt such a sense of having to let go of something as we drove home
even though it is so lovely to have made new friends; it felt so strange not to
wake up at camp the next morning. I can't stand the thought of having missed
such a wonderful experience. One thing that struck me was how beautiful all the
mums there were, every single one. It was so amazing to spend time with women
who glow because they are loving and gentle and kind and giving. It gave me
strength and reminded me what is important to my family and to me as a woman
and mother. Mia was looking at the camp photos today and she shouted (really
excitedly) Tarka, look, it's that funny man, Paul. I like him. I'll look at
him for a while! We'll look forward to next year then, hee hee...
Much Love,
Gina xxx
I hadn't got round to writing to thank you for your books. They
are so beautifully written and really inspiring to me. I have yet to
read all of Stretch Marks, but have passed the gift copy I bought on,
and it was very well received. Thank you for the lovely inscriptions.
I think Life Without School may be my favourite so far. I hope that
our unschooling journey is as full of passion, joy and wonder, and I
will do everything I can to make it so. Thank you so much to all of
you for sharing your lives.
Laura x
Dear Veronika,
You wrote on your blog that camp was a healing experience for you. I have to say
that for me it didn't only help heal, it made me stronger, and less afraid of
dealing with life's ups and downs. Coming to camp and meeting so many wonderful
people has had an incredibly uplifting and healing effect on me. I know some of
these friendships will last a lifetime. I wanted to thank you for providing a
safe and beautiful environment for us to come and gain energy. Limetree Farm is
an incredible place, so beautiful, so magical with its roundhouse and the stone
circle. I think it affected us all and brought us to a new place, spiritually.
William was a changed child while we were there. At home and in playgroups he
is seen as a trouble maker and aggressor, which is so sad when I know that what
he needs is just what he got at camp: freedom, no Health and Safety, no
artificial 'stuff'; just light, air, a pile of wood and ash to get mucky in!
I was so sad to leave and have to say goodbye to everyone. I do hope that you
change your mind and repeat the camp next year. Thank you for the wild woman
quest circle. Thank you for letting us talk about our feelings and fears,
hopes, dreams and childhoods. Thank you for providing an environment without
modern junk.
Thank you so much!
Petra, Mike, William and Johannes.
To everyone at this year's Camp,
We would like to extend our thanks to everyone for their kind words, offers of
help, practical and emotional support shown to us during this year's camp.
A very special mention goes to Ash for keeping us calm, and to Laura and Russ ~
thank you for everything.
We are all settled back home now, and have been for a check at the hospital the
week after camp. We were told that we have a healthy baby growing happily.
Unfortunately, though, the pregnancy had started as a twin pregnancy. This has
been a time of mixed emotions for all of us, and we are now focusing on our
future as a family of five. Our baby is due in December. We have named both of
them, and so we are now waiting to see who comes Earthside. We will never
forget our time at camp, and it is thanks to you that we can look back on the
experience in such a positive way.
Hopefully see you all again!
Sarah, Adam, Jack, and Eleanor
Ksenia's comments (TM40) were interesting! As a husband, I initially had a very
distant, hands-off policy regarding pregnancy and birth, but after realising
how pregnancy accentuated Moira's radiancy and femininity, I couldn't keep my
hands off! Nonetheless, I still had issues regarding later pregnancy, and
wasn't sure how I'd handle the physicality of the later months, but neither was
Moira sure either ~ in fact she was very scared. We then bought a set of
hypnobirth sessions and that helped to shift our entire mindset regarding birth,
and incidentally, love-making too. Mia, our therapist, began with explaining how
conceiving and giving birth
were part of the same cycle, and suddenly things began to fall into place. And
after reading The Mother's articles, it's difficult not to see the flourishing
form of my pregnant wife as
gorgeous, beautiful, and erotic. Baby, too, needs love ~ making love releases
oxytocin, which is generated in birth too, so why not practise bringing those
hormones into play and have fun too? During pre-labour, caressing and
love-making help to make the baby's passage into the world easier (unless
you're surrounded by medics!), and thus helps to close the initial cycle, and
start the new one, in love! Moira adds that making love confirmed the
commitment to the birth, to our child, to each other; it stopped baby and mum
from being isolated too.
As men we should also be helping our partners through all the stages and perhaps
dealing with the inner concerns or fears we may have picked up through our
culture or even our own birth and early childhood experiences (e.g., lack of
breastfeeding, controlled crying, being put into a cot, the Western wedges that
drive boys from their mothers, and in turn from their partners later on, in ways
subtle and otherwise). So, to your husband, go ahead and have some fun, and
worship the life you're sharing and creating!
Alex and Moira (no.2 child on his/her way and basking in love and friendship as
we proceed!)
I am a mother to 4 wonderful boys, and live in Carlisle, Cumbria. Over the years
I have been involved with many toddler groups, breastfeeding groups, etc., but
none that I have been able to really share my passion and ethos surrounding
breastfeeding and early years parenting with. I am so glad that I receive the
Mother Magazine to reaffirm my beliefs and choices. I am now a Doula supporting
other mothers in their pregnancy and breastfeeding journey. I have a particular
interest in helping mothers who have had previous caesaerean sections and who
would like a natural birth after this, and I have a geat deal of experience
helping mums to breastfeed. I would love to hear from other likeminded mums in
the local area who share my beliefs and embrace motherhood in this way who
would be interested in meeting up, or from anyone who would be keen to see what
support a Doula can offer.
Much Love,
Katrina Hampson
Katrinahampson@fsmail.net www.doula-care.info
Thank you Eliza, Bethany, Paul and Veronika for Life Without School ~ it affirms
the beauty and simplicity in raw home living, togetherness, equality, and real
freedom! Life is the school, Love is the Lesson! Well done again and forever
sharing your life, we are grateful. Blessings on you and TM readers for all
contributing to the power behind such informative and challenging material, we
are not alone when we have TM.
Love from Cher, Hereford
Thank you so much for organising and running TM camp this year. It was such a
peaceful, rejuvenating, relaxing and happy time for our whole family. We
enjoyed the workshops, the fellowship, meeting and bonding with you both and
many others at the camp. Our kids are still bubbling over with stories and
excitement!
With much appreciation and much love,
Kathryn and Pan
Thank you so much for organising The Mother camp this year. It was an amazing
experience for me and so lovely for the girls to be out playing and
breastfeeding amongst other children who weren't high on sugar. Even Duncan,
the unsociable hermit, enjoyed himself. I was so very sad to leave Lime Tree
Farm. It's great to be home in my lovely garden, and even greater to be clean,
but it seems very quiet without all the beautiful women, men and children you
brought together. I really want there to be a get together next year. Thanks
again
for all that you do.
Lots of love, Wendy, Duncan, Miki and Eleni
Dear Veronika and Paul, I've been waiting for the right words to come but am
still at a loss, so will do my best from my head and heart. Thank you, thank
you so much for everything last week. Camp was an amazing experience for us,
and for me to open and close the space for you was an immense honour. I can't
put into words just how deeply happy and comfortable I am in your company. I
will never forget sitting in the sunshine greeting in the morning with you
both, and feeling like pieces of the jigsaw that I hadn't fully realised were
missing were suddenly in place. What a gift your friendship is, it was a total
joy to share time with you, Bethany and Eliza. Wonderful too, to see how your
beautiful girls are growing...We all hope to be able to see you all again soon.
With much love and affection, Keeley, Pas, Beck, Willow and Tansy.
Mailbag from issue 40 - May/June 2010
Your magazine enriches our lives and makes for many hours of conversation afterwards! Peace be with you. Ben, Sally and Hettie
Thank you for another great issue of TM. I’m slowly reading through (only because I have a few moments to myself to focus) and enjoying it very much! After reading the article on Blessingways by Amelia Loulli, I felt inspired to buy a pack of these cards and send one to every pregnant woman friend of mine, and remind them what Amelia says at the end that meant so much to her: “I did it, and so can you”. Love, Kathryn
Dear Veronika and Paul, I’ve just received my latest copy of TM, and was thrilled to discover that photos of our family were inside. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful inspiration to us. Love and blessings, Sue xx
I have just started teaching active birth classes. One of my ladies had her little boy (first one, home birthed) last week, and I have been trying to think of an appropriate gift that I can give. Just reading through TM39 and the penny dropped: the perfect gift to them from me is a copy of The Mother. Brilliant. So thank you for this inspiration. How is it there is always an appropriate article for me in each magazine? Rosie
Thank you so much for the copy of your new unschooling book. We have enjoyed it all immensely. It’s also been a lot of fun to read, the photos are lovely and it’s all sooo inspiring! Also very reassuring. You are living proof that unschooling leads to an educated, healthy and deliciously happy outlook on life. A family thoroughly enjoying themselves. Biggest hugs, Alex, Anton, Hugo and Naomi.
I had a fantastic waterbirth again with baby number three, having had a difficult pregnancy. The Mother always gives me hope! Jane
Dearest Veronika, Paul, Bethany and Eliza, With much love and many congratulations on your beautiful new book. We are all enjoying it! Thank you for sharing it. With love from all of us to all of you. See you at camp! Hugs, Keeley, Pas, Beck, Willow and Tansy.
Good news: our local library is ordering The Drinks Are On Me. When your next books are out, I’ll request them too. So far, everything I ask for they buy. I’ve just requested The Mother as well. Nicole, New Zealand
Firstly, thank you very much for being here. Every issue is like a breath of fresh air! I’ve been a subscriber for not too long, but have grown to love it from the very first issue I’ve read. I really wanted your advice on something: would it be possible to include in one of the future issues a discussion about a couple’s love life during pregnancy? I’m expecting my second baby, and just as first time around, my husband doesn’t want to make love, saying that it’s “weird because you have a living being inside”. As if the baby is going to tug on his private bits! This is such a magical time for me, and I feel very sad for not feeling physically attractive, especially when hearing that some men are actually more drawn to their wives during this time...So I was wondering whether TM could put an article together where women, and most importantly men, share their experiences of love during pregnancy. Maybe there is someone else like me, so I won’t feel so out of place (I know this sounds very selfish!). Thank you very much in advance! Blessings to you all! Ksenia Ed: Look forward to our next issue, where we will cover this topic. We encourage readers to write in with their experiences.
Dear Veronika, Just wanted to let you know that I have subscribed to your magazine following a recommendation from Gillian Hall, in Cheadle. I read the January/February 2010 issue compliments of Gillian, and found the article about 21st century boys very interesting, as well as lots of other articles. My youngest son is six now, and I have two daughters, 10 and 19. I wish I’d been introduced to this magazine years ago; how things would have been different. Many thanks again, Jackie Your magazine has been a real source of inspiration to me, and my sister in law just told me today that she saw one of your books in a local herb store. I had considered not re subscribing because of financial “tightness” and I struggle with some disappointment about not being able to fully “live The Mother dream” in that my kids are vaccinated, currently attend school, live in an urban setting, although breastfeeding still, etc. Each of these choices has involved compromise and much discussion, however I feel a soul connection with The Mother community, and relish each issue. I particularly enjoy chuckling over Rachel Sills’ “Diary of a semi-conscious mother”. Thank you for your work and leadership, Zona, Italy
Dear Veronika, Paul, Bethany and Eliza, I have just finished reading your book on your unschooling journey, and I wanted to tell you how beautiful I found it, and such an honour to share a piece of your lives. I felt really inspired. We are just starting out on our unschooling journey with a five year old and a one year old, and to hear your story gives me the reassurance and confidence that we have definitely made the right choice. As you know, I am sure, it’s challenging going against the grain. Reading your book, though, I just feel so excited! Wonderful!!!! I ask a little favour, I need some help finding nice books to read. I find so many books unhelpful with regards our family choices! Also, so many stories are scary. Maybe Bethany and Eliza, can you remember your favourite childhood novels? My son likes to laugh, so funny things work. We make up stories, too, but a novel is so helpful for relaxing together. I hope I’m not putting upon you all...just if you have a moment to share. Sending you all love and blessings, Hannah
I just want to say this book is amazing. I really, really enjoyed it. Your life and your children’s lives sound so wonderful at times. I was almost there in your living room next to your fire. The book just drew me in, and I couldn’t put it down. I have all your books now, and they’re all wonderful. You’re a great writer, and a fab mum. Your children sound so lovely. Keep up the great work with The Mother magazine. Thanks, Cindy
Just wanted to say thanks for swift delivery of the back copies I ordered. They’re great! Once I had an hour free, I sat down and read them all through. I love the page three pieces. After reading through about four or five, I don’t think I’ve cried as much since I sobbed my way through “that bit” of Charlotte’s Web, aged 8! Thanks for such a lovely, informative magazine ~ although I’m going to need a magazine rack soon, as my ever-growing TM library has completely taken over my sock drawer! Rebekah
Hello Veronika, Paul, Bethany and Eliza, I just received my copy of Life Without School, and just wanted to say how much I am going to enjoy reading about your journey. Thank you, too, for the lovely personal touch. Our daughter, Isabella, is almost four, and it’s so good to read about your girls’ unschooling. Like you, we’ve always known we wouldn’t be sending her to school. Our son (now 20 ~ how did THAT happen?!) was unschooled from age 12/13 after a negative experience in the system. It was the best decision we all ever made! Blessings to you all, Lesley, Dan, Alec and Isabella. Bolton
I just wanted to say a delayed thank you very much for sharing your unschooling journey with me through your book. It has been thoroughly enjoyed. Hope you are enjoying the Spring sunshine and flowers. Wishing you all the best, and looking forward to the next issue of The Mother magazine. Take care, Sarah Hi Veronika and Paul, We just want to send our warmest wishes to you, Bethany and Eliza for a truly successful Book Launch. We are very sorry that due to family events, we are unable to join you. The book was outstanding ~ I really, really enjoyed it. It was compelling, gentle and most of all, authentic. I have tried some of the recipes, played some of the music, and been totally inspired by, well, everything! Thank you once again for this important and timely book. Love and blessings, John and Jackie Ferguson.
Dear Paul and Veronika, Thank you for the last issue of TM. I loved the article about adolescence and the part regarding sexuality: how much love and respect could be generated just by acknowledging the holiness of our bodies and those of our growing children! I was brought up in a Catholic family, and I’m still dealing with the many negative beliefs I was surrounded with in regard to sex and sin! I am writing to inform you about my new address ...I am 33 weeks pregnant and embarking on a move from Devon to northern Scotland, near the Findhorn community. I was wondering if there is any other subscriber from that area? It would be nice to create some new connections with like- minded mums! All the best to you and your family, Valeria
As it comes up to the anniversary of my Blessingway and my daughter’s first birthday, I am entering a period of reflection. Amidst a huge collage of other thoughts, feelings, sensations, smells, sounds, tastes... I am so thankful to have discovered that there is a web of men and women who are also making their own journey through attached, loving and conscious parenting. So this is a huge thank you from me to TM for continually challenging and buoying me and drawing me into the circle. Love to everyone there, Julia and Evie
From Dr. Richard House: The second international Open EYE Campaign conference, ‘The Child ~ The True Foundation’, will take place in London on Saturday, 12 June, this year. It will be held at The Resource Centre in Holloway Road, London N7; and full details are available through the conference website at www.thechildthetruefoundation.com. Keynote speakers include Professors Kathy Hirsh-Pasek and Lilian Katz from the USA, Dr Sebastian Suggate from Germany (who will report on his new research showing that early literacy learning doesn’t confer any long-term advantages), and finally, the intrepid campaigner against the incursion of televisual technologies into young children’s lives, Dr Aric Sigman. I would like to tell you how much I am loving Life Without School! I was very touched that you had all taken the time to sign the book and add a personal message. It seemed like you sent it with so much love and really cared that I read it. Thank you. Love and best wishes, Sarah
Mailbag from issue 39 - March/April 2010
Dearest Veronika, I just had to congratulate you on your article on 21st Century Boys and war toys, in TM38. As the mother of two boys (including the tipi builder on the cover!), I’m really pleased to have the subject addressed so thoroughly. The issue of choice versus zero tolerance comes up a lot in discussion, and I think the article was well due! It is, of course, about setting boundaries and using loving guidance (the true meaning of ‘discipline’). It’s strange how some topics seem to raise self-doubt in our minds from time to time ~ largely because ultimately we don’t want to be social misfits ~ and one of the reasons we subscribe to TM is for gentle reassurance and a hug to say we’re doing okay in our parenting. It can be really difficult to avoid things like violent toys and influences in our children’s environment, and I love that you don’t beat around the bush when it comes to putting things into perspective. It’s definitely one I’ll pick up and read again to keep a few comments in mind for when I’m put on the spot! Love and gratitude, Sara xx
Most days, I feel that I am on the fringe and sometimes feel that I need to defend my views, but mostly I just sit tight and say nothing against the sea of opposing opinions. Your magazine is my anchor, and allows me to quietly and confidently follow my instincts. Without your very wise words and hard work, there would be a group of lonely ships bobbing up and down aimlessly in the turbulent waters ~ lost at sea! Thank you, Jill
Dear Veronika (and Paul), I was just ‘cruising’ around YouTube, only to find an extract from the Channel 4 documentary on long-term breastfeeding. I had given this a glimpse three years ago when I was in the UK, but didn’t watch the full program. So, only just earlier I remembered about it, and did some online reading on the documentary and the discussion that it has sparked. I am now compelled to write this short email to you, just to express my admiration for your family, and to let you know that the effects of your devotion to breastfeeding, and your advocacy on its benefits to children (and society at a large), go beyond UK boundaries. I am a Greek environmental engineer and organic farmer, residing in Rhodes, Greece, with my partner Sofia. We don’t have children as yet, perhaps in the near future. I have lived in the UK in the past, for seven years in total, and I can understand how uninformed ~ if not spiteful ~ the average UK public would be on your chosen course of motherhood, or on long-term breastfeeding in general. Thank you for sharing your intimate family moments with the world, and for upholding what is natural and benign for all. Pavlos, Greece
Dear Veronika, Paul, Bethany, Eliza, I have wanted to write to you all for a long time to send my heartfelt thanks for the beautiful magazine that you and all the other contributors produce. It’s like magic in my fingertips as I read through it. The articles always leave me thinking of the new ways in which I can enrich our life as a family. My daughter, Rosie, is five, and loves to look through the magazine when I’m reading it. She loves the pictures of the babies and toddlers breastfeeding, and the ladies who are pregnant. It fills me with pride to tell her how wonderful it is to have her and her brother Rowan, aged two years. She often questions our lifestyle, such as why we are vegans, and why we seem to live so differently to a lot of her friends. Motherhood brings beautiful and new experiences every day to our lives. I wanted to say how I enjoyed the lovely article by Imogen Maxfield about her relationship with her sister, Lydia: such a wonderful bond they have between themselves and their families. I wish them all well. I also have a wonderful sister. We’re incredibly close, and although she doesn’t have children yet, she’s a very dear figure in my children’s lives, and brings such enrichment to us all. One day I hope that The Mother magazine will bring her the wonder that I’ve found in it and the bond that brings us as mothers together. Thank you, Veronika, for all that you do, and the inspiration that you bring to all your readers. I wish you, Paul, Bethany and Eliza ~ and all The Mother readers ~ a truly peaceful and loving year, full of the beauty of Mother Nature and all her blessings she brings us. Love, light and peace, Claudine and family xxxx
Hi Veronika and Paul, Postie brought me a lovely surprise today :) Thank you for my copy of TM, I wasn’t expecting it until after I’d sorted out my standing order. You are kind. It was just what I needed today. I managed to curl up in front of a roaring fire with my boy snoozing on my lap, a cup of fennel tea and TM. Much more nourishing than attempting to put away the laundry mountain that has been steadily growing for the last month or so! The article on sleep is interesting reading for me. I’m still doing night feeds. I like the idea that sleeping through isn’t natural, and that seems to be how we live at the moment: I nap when he does, if I can. I’ve been feeling guilty that I’m still doing this now he’s three, but I’d rather do that than stop him having his precious ‘bosie’ at night. He wakes less now than he did six months ago. I’d like to wait for him to stop needing it himself, even if that means another year of exhaustion. The piece about weapons is quite timely, too. We have a pal whose lovely little boy started school last year. He has changed so much. Last time we visited he was shooting at my son, shouting “die, die”. I didn’t know what to say. My son wasn’t impressed, and now I find myself avoiding another visit. Oh dear. It certainly confirmed my thoughts on home-educating. Speaking of which, I’m starting a HE group in our village. If you have any leaflets or spare copies of TM, and would like me to spread the word, I can take some with me. It’s running from next Monday, and I have about 14 kids so far. Anyway, thanks again for the latest issue: it brightened my day as always. With love, Dawn Our copy of TM arrived this morning. It was so lovely to see one of Ash’s camp photos on the cover. It is another wonderful issue. I love the astrology article; great timing, too! Veronika, I loved your article, it spoke straight to my heart. I’m SO glad we have chosen to say a definite no to ‘any’ violent toys. The bit you wrote about fairy stories really made me think, too, as we have quite a lot of them, and I’ve always felt uncomfortable reading many of them. Somehow I felt that I needed to read them to Mia and Tarka. Maybe, because, when I did my English Literature degree we were always told how important they are as a foundation for understanding so many other literary works. Your article made me realise that my children are five and three, and they’re far too young to listen to stories of violence, abandonment and cruelty. I also realised that I was so frightened by these stories as a child (I mean literally terrified, of the cruel stepmothers and the sense that a child was alone and vulnerable and without its mother), so yesterday we had a clear-out of our bookshelves, and I was amazed to discover that Mia and Tarka don’t like reading these stories either, and were quite happy to cart them off to the charity shop! They also brought me other books which had either pictures or stories which scared them, so it was a really cathartic experience, and we all felt lighter and happier yesterday evening. If only I’d followed my heart and not read them when I was uncomfortable doing so...I am so, so grateful to you for writing truthfully and passionately about all these fundamentally important things. Every issue of TM seems to move us forward as a family in some way; we take another step on the path we want to travel, and I don’t think words can ever express how grateful we are to you for that. With much love and so many heartfelt thanks... Gina xx
I wanted to thank you for our beautiful birth. I feel a lot of it is thanks to you. During the last weeks of my pregnancy I re-read The Birthkeepers that Gina had lent me, and used some of the affirmations during the last few days, and labour. It really helped me stay positive and in tune with my baby and body. The contractions were a lot easier to manage when I was saying the affirmations too. Our little girl eventually arrived with no one but her family present. It felt so natural on the day, but afterwards, I realised we did it ourselves, wow!! I’m really glad I discovered you since the birth of my son (which was good too, though). I’m much more sure of myself now. Laura
Dear Veronika, Moira and I subscribe to The Mother magazine, and enjoy every article, but I was wondering if there are any past issues/articles dealing with breastfeeding while pregnant? (Ed: yes, TM8). We’ve just found out today that we’re expecting another guest Earthside again (our first, Charlie, is now just over two), and I’m keen to help Moira’s nutrient levels and to keep her buoyant. We’ve ordered the Drinks Are On Me, but with the Xmas post, it’s not arrived yet (sorry to say that I ordered via Amazon, as I needed to order a few educational books for my practice at the same time). Moira’s continued to feed, and works with a breastfeeding support group in Melton Mowbray (although she and a few others are slowly breaking away from the main group, who stopped feeding at six months and thought that sending their kids to nursery was a good idea, and that leaving them at home while talking about breastfeeding was not inconsistent...go figure). The group has yet to make its mark, but we both certainly have an impact through our private teaching practice - thirty plus families weekly are exposed to our beliefs on feeding and close filial contact, etc. in some form or other! Anyway, any link or past article that we could purchase would be highly useful, thanks! Oh, and get a kick out of this: I’m part of a Military Ethics Education Network, and I give papers/commentary, usually annually, to the military on their ethics educational programme, and this past week I strongly expressed the powerful analogy of preparing for military operations with birth plans. Moira and I used hypnobirth/acupuncture and chiropractic to assist, and I used our birth story to encourage educators and officers to consider why their soldiers and officers (highly trained in drill, etc.) become emotional wrecks or abusive following their tours of duty. We (you and I) may underscore the innate violence of war and its inherent disposition to effect psychological trauma, and we may look to the disposition of war resulting from dissociated births and patriarchal hegemony and other sociological effects resulting from our plastic society, but the analogy was driven home: if your soldiers aren’t prepared mentally, then they’ll be like women who don’t prepare their souls for birth ~ they’ll be distraught, and they’ll require constant intervention. (I noted the fact that many of our ex-servicemen end up homeless, in prison, abusive, drunk, addicted to drugs is one heck of an ethical failing). The comments attracted quite a number of thought-provoking responses, including one Canadian military educator whom I encouraged to consider bringing in Zen Buddhists to help soldiers meditate about the tasks that may be asked of them. (He had heard a story of the police in Canada using breathing techniques to keep their minds clear before an intensive operation). My line in the conferences has always been to stress the right to ‘opt-out’ of any tour or conflict should there be any form of conscientious objection; what I implicitly hoped (and will continue to plug) was that by drawing attention to the need for a more holistic approach to the armed services’ teaching and ethics, we may incidentally encourage more to question the bloody-mindedness of our policies, as well as better prepare serving soldiers for a return to the civil order and peace. I hope you can point us to any useful supportive articles you may know of. We’re devouring The Birthkeepers, which did arrive safely a few days ago. Best wishes, and a heartfelt thanks for the wisdom we’ve been enjoying, consciously and otherwise, over the past few issues, Alex, Moira and Charlie. www.alexander-moseley.me.uk www.intelligentparenting.co.uk www.classical-foundations.com
Thank you for the timely reminder to renew. One reason I’d put it off is that in September, I finally plucked up the courage to leave my teaching job and withdraw our youngest, Amy, who’s 10, to be able to homeschool her. (We have three other wonderful children: they are adamant that they wish to stay in the local high school.) This decision was helped along by your magazine. Oh how I wish we’d done this before! One of the most wonderful things we’ve done. So one ecstatic little girl and one ecstatic (but slightly financially embarrassed!) mother... A big THANK YOU to you, and looking forward to reading more great articles. Jilly.
I look forward to The Mother dropping through the letterbox, and immediately dedicate the next non-work night to reading it! I love the range of articles, great variety, and it always speaks to me about something I’m dealing with in the moment ~ more confirmation that all of us mums are on the same path, mothering from the same heart space, and living both the joys and challenges on a daily basis! The Mother is such an inspiration and fuels me on difficult days to remember what gloriously important work we’re doing. I forget! Your articles become talking points in my Mother and Baby classes, and often lead to great discussions ~ always ‘widening the horizon’. Your magazine is always on the Library Lending table, but not for long! Thank you for sprinkling your magic. Love and blessings to you and yours, Su xxx
Your magazine gives me hope! It captures the essence of mothering, and the tears of remembering. Love and blessings from us all. Have a great 2010. Jan x
I am really looking forward to receiving my first issue. A very good friend has passed on a few copies to me in the past, which is how I found out about it, so I decided to treat myself to a subscription for my birthday. I have two lovely children, aged eight and five, who’ve grown up without a TV, and who are both enjoying home educating; the benefits of both of these things are invaluable. I am sure that The Mother will be great company and inspiration this year, Best wishes and a happy new year, Gillian
I absolutely love the magazine. It makes me feel connected to like-minded moms when I’m feeling totally alone in my mothering methods. Things like sling-wearing and veganism are rare in the part of the East end where my 18 month old daughter and I live. Luckily, I have a supportive partner and family; the most contentious issue being vaccination. I’m totally on my own with this one. This is where your magazine really helps me stand my ground. I have met two wonderful mothers, and we are in the process of starting up a monthly vegan parents’ meet-up in central London. If you could please print this letter and my email address, for if any other London based TM readers would like to come along when things are up and running, that would be fab. Have a wonderful new year. Love, Nicki x nicki_moore@hotmail.co.uk Ed’s note: Your partner would get a lot from a book called The Sanctity of Blood. It’s a compilation of vaccine studies, which is very easy to read.
Mailbag from issue 38 - January/February 2010
Loved “Naught but Self-Care, Except in Most Marriages”. Gorgeous article. And Rachel Sills ought to be a comedy writer ~ laughed out loud at “Children look like they’ve covered themselves in glue and dived into a jumble sale”! Kind regards, Karen
I want to thank you for the latest issue of TM (TM37). The cover page is GREAT ;-) I wish ALL breast feeding women could do the same as the lady on this picture, in public places without penalty. Thank you, Kate, Poland
Veronika: The Nov/Dec issue just arrived in snail mail. Beautiful! Publications like The Mother help, among the many wonderful things your magazine does, the worldwide effort to stop the objectification of women and children. I can not begin to tell you how grateful I am to be part of your circle of writers. The Editor at The Shine Journal included me in her list of nominees for the Pushcart Prize in poetry. I’m a little bit giddy. I’m in contract talks with French Creek Press for Oblivious to the Obvious: Wishfully Mindful Parenting, a book of 40 essays (two thirds of which are reprints from various of my publications. e.g., from The Mother: No Economic Slowdown Needed for Sane Consumerism and Naught but Self-Care, Except in Most Good Marriages. I want the world to know what a wonderful mentor you are!!!!! Love, Channie, Israel
I hope you are well. I’ve been meaning to email you, just wanted to say that I found our chat very good, and to thank you for your suggestions. Ayla is eating much better, and there have been no further tantrums. I took Arwen to the cranial osteopath (took both girls actually), who said she seemed fine. So glad I took them. There is also very little tv being watched, and Ayla is playing like she has never played before :). There is much more I would love to talk about, and I would love to book another session in a few weeks. It was lovely to talk to someone who had so much experience in being the sort of mother I’m trying to be. I struggled with the idea of opening up to anyone, but I found you easy to talk to, and thought you very motherly. I’m the only one still awake and need to now join my beautiful sleeping family (if I can find a space in the bed). Warm thanks and greetings, Lindy
I have just renewed my TM subscription with glee. It’s so wonderful to find TM in my mail box. Every single time my heart dances a little flutter for what treasures await amongst each new issue’s pages. And I am yet to bring babies Earthside! ~ I can only imagine how powerful this community wisdom will feel once I meet my little ones. I’m sending out a big thank you to all those wonderful people who supported TM by rallying like-minded folk for subscriptions. We’re all so much richer for it ~ Bravo!! Much love and many thanks to you ~ and the marvellous TM team! Melody, Australia
Thank you so so much for my first edition of The Mother magazine. It resonates so strongly with all my mothering choices that I can’t believe I’ve been missing out on it all this time! It’s simply wonderful. I’m desperate for more! Is it possible to buy back issues? Thanks for everything, Mary, Ireland Ed’s note: we still have back issues available. Visit our website to check availability. We have currently sold out of issues TM1, 2, 3, 5, 11, 12, 24, 32 and 35.
Received the magazine today, absolutely love it, and especially the vegan pregnancy article as I’m a proud vegan mama-to-be! The placenta and cord article is amazing, too. What I love most, is that I learn so much from each of the issues, genuine ‘not thought of that before’ learning, which as a herbal medicine student, and avid sponge of all things pregnancy and baby related, is getting quite tough now!! Thank you for providing such a beautiful magazine, and making my journey to motherhood so joyful! Feel free to use that in the letters/testimonials. I’m going to be a lifelong subscriber! Charlie x
It arrived today and I have already managed to read it from cover to cover, and loved every minute of it! Sally
I’ve been meaning to subscribe for YEARS now, picking up copies at conferences, etc., (bought three more at the Irish Home Birth conference yesterday!) I subscribe to Siobhán Kramer’s blog (a fellow home educator here in Ireland) and she mentioned that the magazine may be closing due to a lack of subscriptions, so that galvanised me into ordering subs for myself and a friend of mine. I’ve also posted, and will continue to post re subbing on my Twitter feed and blog (www.blog.theNest.ie) ~ hope it helps! The Mother magazine has been a complete joy since I first read it after hearing Veronika speak at the Home Educator’s Network Conference 3 or 4 years ago, and regularly check you out online!! We have a wooden toy, co-operative games shop here also. Would you like me to add a link to subscribing to the magazine from our shop site? (www.theNest.ie) Continued blessings, Emily x, Ireland
I heard about you when you spoke at the Home Education Conference in Ireland a few years ago, and have been meaning to subscribe since then, and can’t honestly tell you why I haven’t done so before now. I thought your talk was inspirational, and look forward to receiving The Mother. I also saw your beautiful daughters on the tv a while ago on a programme about breastfeeding. I myself have two little girls and a little boy. I got an email from my friend Siobhán Duffy Kramer recently, saying how wonderful your magazine is, and this put subscribing back in the forefront of my mind. Mary, Ireland
Thank you so much for your e-mail reminding me about my subscription renewal. I’d been meaning to do it, but life has been very busy recently. I’m so so so thrilled to hear that The Mother magazine is continuing. I’m sorry that I wasn’t leaping in there a month or so ago to renew, but I’m so glad that others were, and that there are lots more lovely subscribers. To be honest, I’m not sure what I would have done if you’d had to stop publishing. It’s such a source of comfort, support, inspiration and ultimately, a beacon of light, reminding me of where I want to be, gently getting me back on track, or just making me feel a part of a community of like minded people. This is particularly the case now that I’ve moved to Oslo, Norway. I started subscribing when I was pregnant and living in a village in Oxfordshire, after my wonderful friend Alex Florschutz recommended your magazine, and it has just been a blissful read from day one. Thank you for all that you do to make this magazine happen. It’s a real joy to receive. I wonder if you have any subscribers who also live in Oslo/in Norway. It would be lovely to be in touch with them. I have met some lovely people here, but it would be really wonderful to meet some TM readers here, too! With love, and all the wishes in the world for your continued success with this incredible magazine. Thank you! Freya, Norway Thank you very much for TM37. It was lovely of you to put the photo of my children in it. The article Love Never Dies was beautifully written. The line “A woman who has never been a mother cannot know the fathomless grief, the depth of sorrow, the devastating heartbreak that tears through a woman’s womb when her beloved child dies” is so sad. Earlier on this year, my youngest child, Tom, nearly died of Encephalitis. He was lucky, and survived. Thanks again for a great magazine, Love, Beatrice
Bless you a thousand times ~ I have just received the new Mother, too. I always get a bit twitchy, and then see the envelope coming through the letter box, and the twitching magics away! Thanks for the tips on “spreading mother love” ~ am definitely going to hook up to the Facebook group. Love, Andrea
I live in York among families who’ve fled persecution. My children play with children who’ve been incarcerated in Yarl’s Wood high security immigration removal facility. There’s two year old Ibrahim, whose mother was rushed into detention without him. He stayed with his aunt, crying continually, for the four days it took the Home Office to reunite them. He spent three weeks with his traumatised parents behind razor wire in Yarl’s Wood. Anya, now 12, remembers her little sister’s second birthday in ‘the camp’. ‘It was not a good day. The guards shouted at Mum so loudly, Mum and my sister cried the whole time.’ Two thousand children are detained each year. These families have committed no crime. They can’t abscond ~ where would they go? This whole life-wrecking process serves no purpose. Extreme psychological harm is done in our name to families who’ve already known terrible hardship. Many parents have experienced torture in their home countries. For them, arrest and detention here unearth past horrors. We’re asking Mother readers to join us in a national campaign to End Child Detention Now. Please sign our petition at: http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/NoChildDetention/ And please write to your MPs, asking them to sign Chris Mullin’s motion urging the Government to stop detaining asylum-seeking children and their families. Sample letters to MPs are on our website at: www.ecdn.org. We believe the government will listen. If enough people join us we can End Child Detention Now. Thank you! Esmé Madill, mother, and co-ordinator of End Child Detention Now.